Oh My Lord, My Son Is Dating A . . . .
. . . Republican!
How is it possible? I was so confident that I had been a better parent, role model, and guiding light, than this. My youngest son, he whom I have always referred to as The Seeker of Wisdom and Truth, sits upon the very sofa where I nursed him on tales of equality, universal healthcare and ecological responsibility, holding hands with . . .a Republican.
This girl, who I have taken into both my heart and my home, nicknaming her The Madonna for her inexhaustible patience and generousity of heart, is actually a viper filled with a penetrating poison that she is quietly injecting into The Seeker at a frighteningly rapid pace. For you see, The Madonna is not your Basic Suburban Teen Republican that merely repeats suppertime rhetoric without thought or intent. Oh, how I wish she were.
Instead, the Madonna is intelligent; she has a witty tongue and can defend her position because she has actually studied the options. An informed theoretical opponent of his own age is something new and fascinating for my son, thus she tempts The Seeker to taste the apple of conservatism by seducing his mind, rather than just his body. Were that the case I could have taken comfort that the same body would soon demand new stimulations, but by titillating his mind and drawing him down new pathways of thought she has assured herself a long enough run to cause potential lifelong harm.
In hearing me rant about the increasingly danger represented by The Madonna, several of my friends are admittedly confused. Apparently, were they me, they would have been more likely to be concerned about Joie de Vivre, the female companion of my older son, Sir Galahad.
They point out that while she is most certainly amusing and breathtakingly beautiful, she is also black. How naive. I would not care if Joie were purple, as she has taught him that it is possible to laugh and smile while questing, and I truly enjoy her company.
Most importantly, while I am sure that Joie's black skin hides a soul, I am all too aware that the skin of a republication generally hides the lack of one.