PawSense is a computer program published by BitBoost Systems that can apparently 'senses' when a cat is strutting across your keyboard, and then blocks that input from the keyboard and makes noises intended to annoy the cat. Of course, it's been patented and there is no Linux or MacOS build. The software industry is filled with such unimaginable genius!

I almost bought this, but then remembered that this would mess up my dream of teaching my cats to do my job for me. Hey, you laugh, but it really isn't that much of a stretch for a creature that can flush a toilet.

catproof your computer

If you have a cat, you've probably come back to your keyboard once or twice to find that, in your absence, the cat has been using your computer. There, in the midst of Chapter 3 of your novel or the ninth paragraph of your term paper is a series of entries like "kijkv bb vbbv 3we2w," output from the crazed mashings of a fuzzy paw. If your luck has been extra harsh, perhaps little Lumpkin managed to hit a hot-key combination and wipe out some data. If you are the type that's really uptight and worried about such things, with the revolutionary power of PawSense you now have the option of No Longer Living in Fear!

PawSense is a $19.95 Windows (95 through 2000, ME, etc.) program which executes in the background, monitoring the keyboard. Since cats' paws generally hit more than one key at a time, the program watches for nearby keys to be pressed simultaneously, and intercepts them. Then, once a positive kittycat ID has been made, it throws a window on to the screen which says "CAT-LIKE TYPING DETECTED!" and "Click the button below to close this window" and also "Type human into this text box" for non-mouse users. Since cats generally have a rough time with English imperative sentences, especially when presented as text, this is probably enough to safeguard the computer.

Of course, that didn't stop BitBoost Software (PawSense's inventors) from going one step farther, and adding soundcard support to the program. With this cutting edge technological advancement, PawSense can actually train the cat to stay the hell away from your keyboard. Two sounds come built in to the program, a high-pitched, squealing harmonica noise and a loud and angry housecat hiss. By aiming the computers speakers square at the keyboard, enabling PawSense's sound support, and turning up the program's internal volume control, your pets too can learn to live in fear of the Wretched Hissing Box Thing. The PawSense website mentions that babies may also be terrified by these noises; I leave any Skinnerian conclusions as an exercise for the reader.

For more info see:
And for the unmissable anti-cat sonic warfare go directly to:

Disclaimers: I do not own a cat. I do not own Windows. I take no responsibility if your kittens develop a hyperactive twitch reflex upon hearing the 140 dB harmonica once too often.

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