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By Dave The Difficult, King of Rhode Island
Flat Earth Liberation Against TV (FELAT)
First Providence Church of SaneIty, Zane Zane Zane

c/o
Dave Fischer
244 Bowen St. #4
Providence, RI 02906

I shoot my blood into Opium Poppies and watch them die from WITHDRAWAL! I say "Play it safe - take it all!". I get my PCP from Michael! I never take less than the lethal dose! I use Xylocaine for cold sores! I'm Hastur's Heroin Connection! Azathoth thinks I'm BURNT! I share dirty needles with the UNDEAD! I showed Herbert West how to freebase re-animating agent! I do "speedballs" of re-animating agent and CYANIDE! I drink fermented cider from the tree of knowledge! I use FERMILAB to take pure doses of the Strange Quark! Einstein got it wrong - I'M the reason space-time is curved! I don't smoke ice, I smoke ICE-NINE! The international stock market is based on my daily habit! I crash PARKED CARS! I can't even operate machinery in zero gravity! I DRINK COFFEE! I can't even remember the PRESENT! I confuse LSD! My sweat is a Class A controlled substance! I externalize hallucinations! My halucinations externalize their halucinations! I think Metal Machine Music is melodic! Police dogs overdose when I walk by! The Xists are coming to score off ME! I made the Urgrund's Artifact create the universe so I'd have somewhere to crash! The Drug War started cause I burnt Nancy on a coke deal! I inject drugs with PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES! I bathe in DMSO and acid! Shaking my hand holds off narcotics withdrawal for six hours! I've been BANNED from interstellar flight because I take FROP with my SPICE! I make french fries with HASH OIL! I use MERCURY in WATER PIPES! I made them kill Jesus so I could do his ADRENAL GLAND! I think UNIX is INTUITIVE! I use TETRA-DIOXIN as a CHASER! I convert ORGONE ENERGY into a solid and cut coke with it! I was freebasing URANIUM with the main reactor core at CHERNOBYL when

(ranter hospitalized)

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