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Right Said Fred are a Brit pop trio comprising Rob Manzoli and the baldheaded brothers Richard & Fred Fairbrass.

Their debut single, "I'm Too Sexy", reached the number one spot in 26 countries when released in 1991. This success, together with that of the follow-up, "Deeply Dippy", lead to sales of over 5 million copies of their first album, Up.

Their popularity was partly attributable to their fluffy, slightly camp melodies, the muscular build of the Fairbrass brothers and their propensity for showing off their bods. They were a good laugh but "Where are they now?".

It's also a song that I used to listen to when I was younger, but I can't remember who it was by...Though it could have been Bernard Cribbins.

"Right" said Fred,
"Both of us together,"
One each end
And steady as we go (eurgh-heurgh).

Tried to shift it,
Couldn't even lift it,
We was gettin' nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right" said Fred,
"Give a shout to Charlie,"
Up comes Charlie
From the floor below...

After straining,
Heaving and complaining,
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

Charlie had a think
And he thought we ought
To take off all the handles
And the things what held the candles,
But it did no good,
Well I never thought it would.

Oh, "Right" said Fred,
"Have to take the feet off,
To get them feet off
Wouldn't take a mo...

Took its feet off,
Even took the seat off,
Should have got us somewhere, but no,
So Fred said
"Let's have another cuppa tea"
And we said "Righto."

Oh, "Right" said Fred,
Have to take the door off,
Need more space
To shift the so-and-so...

Had bad twinges
Taking off the hinges,
And it got us nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right" said Fred,
Have to take the wall down,
That there wall
Is gonna have to go...

Took the wall down,
Even with it all down
We was getting nowhere
And so we had a cuppa tea and

Charlie had a think
And he said "Look, Fred,
I've got a sort of feeling,
If we remove the ceiling,
With a rope or two
We could drop the blighter through."

Oh, "Right" said Fred,
Climbing up a ladder,
With his crowbar
Gave a mighty blow...

Was he in trouble,
Half a ton of rubble
Landed on the top of his dome,
So Charlie and me
Had another cuppa tea
And then we went home.

Spoken normally I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it standing on the landing, that's all. You see, the trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty, and you never get nowhere if you're too hasty."

To answer Withnail's question, Right Said Fred are still doing what they always did, although I hesitate to say "best". They released a new single "You're My Mate" in early 2002, which received a little airplay in the UK before being laughed off the airwaves. I must say, it was one of the worst records I've ever heard, and the supposedly catchy whistling was absolutely slaughtered on Chris Moyles' Radio One show. shallot reports that the chorus was actually:

Cos you're my mate.
Nah nah,
I'll stand by you.

Repeat a lot

Tragically, that's all I can remember of this record, and so far, no one has noded the lyrics. What a relief...

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