The names in this node have been changed a fair amount to protect the innocent.

Near the Massachusetts-Connecticut state line, outside of three major suburban towns, lies an undeveloped patch of woods. Parts of it resemble an obstacle course (big, sandy hills and such), while the rest is more of a deep-woods feel, with vague, underdeveloped paths. It was a target of exploration for me and my friends in years past, and one weekend we were so incredibly bored that we decided to try it again.

So we set off into the woods. A hitherto-unseen path diverged into the undergrowth at one point, leading down towards a creek. Wild and crazy guys that we are, we decided to take it. We walked down to the creek, which was surprisingly wide; however, a decrepit old fence ran across it. We shimmied across it and walked up the banks on the other side.

Suddenly, we found ourselves in a huge cornfield. Long, sandy paths ran all around it, and in the center was a huge, black, X-Files-style monolith. "What on earth?" passed through all of our minds, albeit in more offensive forms. We started to walk toward it when we heard the hums of distant motors. We waited a few moments, and noticed that they were clearly headed straight for us. We sprinted back down the hill as if the hounds of hell were at our backs.

Back to the creek! Tom, one of the members of the group, leaped straight across the creek, using a log as a stepping stone. Matt and I, the remaining two, were less confident in ourselves and decided to go for the fence. We ran toward it and started shimmying across the river. Our mutual adversaries became visible at the crest of the hill: two riders mounted on ATVs. They started heading over the river and through the woods. Matt and I, having crossed the fence, started running, when I promptly stepped knee deep in muck. With both feet. I surrendered one of my shoes to the muck and made a break for freedom. I was now running in sock feet through dense woods with two other guys, not to mention being chased by ATVs.

We outran them for a good half-mile, and eventually evading them by turning and jumping into the bushes. Satellite photography and ground investigations later revealed that there were no roads nor modes of entry to this building beside the woods path we had uncovered, but that an old railroad did run near it. As of press time, later attempts to reach the building have failed. Consensus?

a) It's a secret government plant that breeds aliens and diseases, then tests them on each other.
b) It's a Hallmark Greeting Card Distribution Center.

Only time will tell.

Update: Time has told. It's a Hallmark distribution center. Isn't that sad? Not to mention that Hallmark wasn't happy with all our poking around.

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