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/me whistles her way into the chatterbox, HAPPY HAPPY BEAUTIFUL DAY!

dem_bones says

Why are you so happy?
stand/alone/bitch says
Dunno. It's a beautiful day.
dem_bones says
Really?
stand/alone/bitch says
Nah. It's actually cloudy and overcast. I have a humungous C program to debug, (I haven't a clue where to start), I need a raise and a new place to live, and I woke up happy. Some days are like that. Someone's gotta get the happy. :-)

But ya know what? It is a beautiful day. I'm okay, I'm walking talking breathing alive, I have work to do, and I feel like doing it, a step in some direction. My family's tremendous concern and love (for some reason) is a comfort today more than the choking weight it usually feels like. I spent the night being held, listening to trains, And there's nothing I can think of to be afraid of, right this minute.

Nothing's changed since yesterday, or Sunday, nothing's been resolved and nothing's disappeared. Who cares. Some days are like this, I can forget what constantly drives me beserk, I can focus on the here and now, and these days, that's a good thing.

State of mind is a weird thing. For some reason, I can't figure out why my chewed-over thoughts can drive me to tears almost daily, I can't work out why this internal (infernal?) noise distracts me so much. It doesn't matter too much, either. It's a good day, I'm gonna let it slide. Do my work, smile the smile, skip and walk, breathe.

Someone's gotta do the happy. I'm glad it's me today.

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