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This is a song created by several bored clarinet players during one of the seemingly-unending bus trips we and the rest of our high school's marching band took to football games held in distant cities. Ultimately, we sang it at summer band camps, but I am deeply concerned that this meme has not spread sufficiently for this to be considered a "true" camp song.

Thus, I share this song with you, gallant noders. This song should be sung to the tune of "Pomp and Circumstance", the only music truly worthy of the existential gravity of the following lyrics.

Ask not for whom the chicken dies, for he dies for thee:

My chicken flies sideways
Your chicken flies upside-down
My chicken flies sideways
Your chicken is dead.

My chicken eats oatmeal
Your chicken eats Cream of Wheat
My chicken eats oatmeal
Your chicken is dead

My chicken drinks root beer
Your chicken drinks screwdrivers
My chicken drinks root beer
Your chicken is dead

My chicken wears lip gloss
Your chicken wears eyeliner
My chicken wears lip gloss
Your chicken is dead

My chicken smokes herring
Your chicken smokes cigarettes
My chicken smokes herring
Your chicken is dead

(etc.)

The senryu-like lyrical possibilities are endless, thus making this a far more entertaining road trip song than, say, "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". Share it with young, impressionable children at every opportunity. And be sure to sing this song wherever you go, particularly on those long trips. Your traveling companions will love it, I assure you. Our bandmates developed a nice little twitch when we even mentioned this song.


I believe this song is not copyrighted.

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