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I hate the way I tremble

at the slightest mistake

and I don't think I can break

this habit in 21 days.


I have done nothing but procrastinate

and willingly subject myself to the whims of fate.


"Why, how with the mighty I must not belong

and how unlike the great muses of jesters' songs."


But time and time again, I find

myself making stories up from thin air

and imagining the glorious victories to come

only to be beset by shame for being dumb.


In my despair, I shout and scream like a child.

"Lord, what had I done to become who I've become?"


Then, like the bolt of lightning

He was merciful enough not to send down,

it hit me.


I had done nothing.

I had done nothing

and therefore became nothing.


You know that tiny and barely-there voice in you're head

that tells you to move on

and do something because you're not dead?


It's irritating as hell like that 'un-snoozable' alarm bell

and my mom when she can't seem to figure out

how to use another newly developed software.


But you've probably hated

and doubted yourself for far too long

and embarrassingly dreamed

too much of the impossible before.


Perhaps 'tis true that "sometimes

on the way to your dream,

you get lost and find a better one"


Perhaps there is hope for me yet

now that my limbs hear it and are going.

I'm going, to get lost, find a better one

and finally start being someone.

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