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Alright alright so I asked for permission to post a song, this time.

The explanatory post from Tumblr staff regarding The Purge said that they would be flagging "female-presenting nipples." (Oh, sure, male-presenting nipples are fine, AS EVER.) This particular phrase was met with particular derision, and has become symbolic of the nature of the Porn Purge as a whole.

In response, Tumblr user MsDemeanor wrote a set of lyrics to the tune of "American Pie". The video can be found here.

 

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how
That blue site used to make me wet
And I knew if I had my shot
I could make it with the thots
And see just how horny we could get

But then December was a drag
When every post I made was flagged
Your blog is in review
And the site’s more red than blue

I can’t remember what came first
The enby titties or the thirst
But something touched me deep inside
The day the horny died

So

Bye, bye, to this site full of creeps
Shook my ass with some class and posted some feet
And I was scrolling when I just couldn’t sleep
Singing  this’ll be the day I delete,
This’ll be the day I delete

Do you know how to eat good ass
Or jack it to some nuns at mass
If the urge takes you so?
Do you believe in sluts and hoes
Can buttholes sooth your mortal soul
Can you teach me how to eat pussy real slow?

Well I know that you’re in love with me
So here’s the link to my KoFi
You sent me your dick picks
All day and night for kicks

I was a lonely fetish cammer here
With a fresh-shaved head and a well-worn sneer
And I knew nobody else would leer
The day the horny died
I started singing

Bye, bye, to this site full of creeps
Shook my ass with some class and posted some feet
And I was scrolling when I just couldn’t sleep
Singing  this’ll be the day I delete,
This’ll be the day I delete

Now for 11 years we’ve been on this site
Blogging through the day and night
But that’s not how it used to be

Facebook’s full of Mom & Dad
Myspace took a hit real bad
Twitter discourse is just real sad

SESTA/FOSTA took Craigslist down
Backpage got run outta town
So it seemed like we were stuck
On Tumblr we could fuck

Verizon tried to hit the mark
And then it one day jumped the shark
And we sing dirges in the dark
The day the horny died
We’re all singing

Bye, bye, to this site full of creeps
Shook my ass with some class and posted some feet
And I was scrolling when I just couldn’t sleep
Singing  this’ll be the day I delete,
This’ll be the day I delete

I met a girl who used to hoe
And asked if she knew where we could go
But she just smiled and turned away.

I logged in to my mainstream blog
And tried to write a silly song
But the music wouldn’t stay

And on my dash the children screamed
The thots went dark and the Nazis preened
A thousand words were spoken
The reblogs all were broken

And the place that I’d enjoyed the most
Full of all my best shitposts,
Raised a final glass to toast
The day the horny died.

And we were singing

Bye, bye, to this site full of creeps
Shook my ass with some class and posted some feet
And I was scrolling when I just couldn’t sleep
Singing  this’ll be the day I delete,
This’ll be the day I delete

I was singing

Bye, bye, to this site full of creeps
Shook my ass with some class and posted some feet
And I was scrolling when I just couldn’t sleep
Singing  this’ll be the day I delete.

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