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At my second last job, one of our branches was run by three born again Christians. Plenty of born agains are perfectly nice people, I'm sure, but these three were the really annoying type that thought they were better than everyone else, and that only they could be truly kind and caring and loving because they'd let God into their hearts and been born again, blah blah blah. Strangely, they were probably the meanest, most intolerant, most argumentative people I'd ever met.

One day, me and my Scouser mate Joe (see How To Win Arguments) were at their branch once for a meeting. During a smoke break, we noticed that their screensaver, the old Marquee one, had been set to scroll the words "Jesus Saves" across the screen.

I couldn't resist it. As Joe cheered me on, I changed it to "Jesus Screensaves".

We left before they spotted it, but apparently they didn't take it with the forgiving, gentle good humour I would have expected from such tolerant, enlightened people.

All together now (to the tune of She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain):

Will you come to the mission, will you come?
You can buy a cup of tea, and a bun...

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