Given that Mormonism is a fundamentalist Christian religion, there are a whole bunch of things you're not allowed to do: drink coffee, have pre-marital sex, smoke, lie, cheat, steal, etc. The list goes on and on. You can't hardly go outside without committing a mortal sin. Even so, there are some things Mormons are allowed to do.

Use Modern Conveniences: Contrary to the beliefs of a few morons, Mormons are not Amish. How the hell would I even be writing this? (Note: Mormons aren't supposed to swear, or insult others).

Dance: Sometimes I'm even surprised by this. It's actually a common youth activity at Mormon Churches. And, of course, Mormon teens will actually dance with each other at these things. Now, of course, you can't go around lusting for your dance partner.

Partake of Caffeine: Hell, I wrote a whole WU about that one.

Be Famous: There isn't actually a ban on being Mormon and famous. There's lots of famous Mormons. There's the Osmonds and, umm, the guy who invented the tv...err... Well, the lack of famous Mormons is the member's fault, not that of the Church.

Not go on a Mission: This isn't actually a sin or even "required". Women aren't even encouraged to go on missions. Of course, if you live in Utah and don't go on a Mission you'll be a social outcast!

Have only one wife: Most people are aware that the Church actually forbids polygamy now. Of course, it is basically a sin to not marry and have kids though.

Wear normal clothes: Mormons are encouraged to dress modestly but there isn't any real dress code. Mormon women are not the ones who always have long hair and long denim skirts. Oh, there is that whole funny underwear thing though...

Be Black: The other day in Church, the teacher for Gospel Doctrine (Sister Jennings, a blind black woman) told us a funny story. She was at her sister's house and a friend of the sister's stopped by who was a Jehovah's Witness. When Sister Jennings mentioned she was Mormon, the JW looked surprised and asked if "blacks could be Mormon". Sister Jennings thought about saying, "Yes, but they have to come in through the side door and sit in the back." She didn't say this though because she was afraid she would be believed. See Mormonism and Racism.

Be Rich: Actually, Mormons are quite good at this. The Church itself is like, totally loaded.

Hmm, well, that's a pretty sad list so far. I'll make sure to add more stuff to this as I think of it. (Note from years later: I never did)

According to a previous post "Of course, it is basically a sin to not marry and have kids though."

Since that writeup is listed in a node titled "Things Mormons ARE allowed to do," some clairification may be in order.

Specifically, Sheri Dew has been single her entire life and currently serves as editor in chief of Deseret Book.

As mentioned in the above referenced wikipedia article Sheri Dew was a councilor to the General Relief Society President from 1997 to 2002. I can think of no higher position of trust in the L.D.S Church that can be held by a woman than General Relief Society President. Being one of two councilors to this person makes Sheri Dew about as far away from a sinner in the obvious view of the leaders of the LDS church as one can be placed.

That being said, it comes as no surprise that someone old and unmarried might feel out of place in mormondom. That is one of many ways to feel out of place in LDS culture, but I do not think of a church as a culture. Each church is a community. The question then becomes one of the purpose and belief construct of that particular community. In other words, what do all members of the community have in common. My advice to members of any community is that they should refuse to be offended by other members of the community as long as they share the same purpose, and are able to debate their own belief construct within that community. That has worked for me. Outsiders of any community occasionally want to be offended, so I have other suggestions for outsiders regarding the disposition of single women in the L.D.S. church. I would suggest they consult with Sheri Dew on this issue. She would possess empirical evidence, a commodity we both lack regarding how it feels to be a mature single mormon without children.

And lastly, mormon is not a proper noun. There is no church designated by this name. So using capitol letters makes the reference somewhat esoteric. My own use of the term is to reference those who believe in an editor by that name who wrote in reformed egyptian. It is my understanding that there are even a few Baptists who acknowledge the past existence of this person and utilize the book named after him.

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