Part of the Love Gone Wrong series

She killed with kindness, probably learned how from her mother.

Little things, like being polite to telephone solicitors. Didn't matter if they were calling for the Shriners, the State Police Family Survivors Scholarship Fund, Veterans Who Painted Using Their Mouths, even The Holocaust Memorial Drive...she listened, even egged them on with encouraging words about how their good deeds would be recognized by God himself. Practically guaranteed them a solid gold halo in the religious after life of their choice. If the moon was right and there were even the slightest tidal surges, she could convert even the most staunch astrophysicist.

Not to drop names, but she once had a brush with Stephen Hawking, but her cold heart softened and she turned off her charm. Even served him caviar with a genuine smile, back when she was a stewardess for private flights, another lifetime ago. Before she realized her gift. They were flying at night, the moon was full, tides were surging. She let him lick the caviar from her fingers as his nurse looked on with disdain.

There could have been bad consequences but she liked the man, just not his nurse.

She ended up killing a few boyfriends with kindness. Easily.

Then she moved on to killing husbands, making up wild stories about heroin addiction and undiagnosed diseases.

She got so good at it, she didn't need to read newspapers or watch weather on television to know when tidal surges other than the normal ebb and flow were happening. Tsunamis, almost a specialty. Nothing kind about them, but she didn't make them occur; they came as a result of violent under sea earthquakes. Very bad consequences.

At least that's what Jacques Cousteau and Sylvia Earle were discussing at the National Geographic luncheon at which she was in charge of making a killing, but not the usual kind. Her new catering business. Sylvia, the over-achieving sea bitch with quite the collection of degrees under her belt and we're not talking about martial arts here. Duke, Radcliffe, over 125 books, and a Jersey girl to make matters worse. Sylvia and her Tektite Project, only redeeming qualities were her smile and the submersible record dive.

How do you kill someone like that with kindness? The answer is obviously, you don't.

Focus on old Jacques, the one who collected wives and children. Half-dead anyway. It would probably be blamed on tidal surges and bad consequences; she smiled at her own kindness. This would be so much easier than when she had to kill Bill.

In this exercise you cannot bring your favorite book.

You have not been chosen. It is a random process and you must accept that.

The villagers will not feel bad for you. They will not stop their trucks.

You will receive one satchel. One tin cup, one box of matches. One knife for cutting.

You will go to the mountain and put your heart back together.

You will stay up at night and listen to the creatures as they move toward you.

You are expected to kill everything that you can.

Do not apologize for anything, they will not apologize for anything.

When you are finished, do not return to us.

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