display | more...

A martial arts technique originally invented by Pythagoras when he was in mortal combat with some rogue priests of the Egyptian god of death Set. At the time, the technique was fairly simple, consisting of slapping the two hands together at shoulder level, so as to grab an enemies lapels. Once this was done, and the enemy was shaken up a bit, the enemy was let go. And, at the time, the technique was given the much simpler name Alligator searches for food.

When the Greek army under Alexander the Great invaded India, the elite martial arts battalion brought this technique with them, so as to beat the elephant soldiers, an even more elite group of Indian commandoes who were psychically fused with a rather small, yet nimble variety of elephants. Instead of grabbing someone by their lapels, the greek soldiers would grab the elephants on a sensitive Dim Mak point on their trunk and twist them around.

During the Greek occupation of India, worshippers of the Avatar Parasurama sought to learn this technique. However, as the soldiers of Greece were fiercly loyal, the only way to get it out of them was to get them very inebriated first. That is why, when the technique was passed to Indian practicioners, it gained its now characteristic wobbly cross legged stance.

However, the arm movements were only changed to the twisting, snake style motion when Indian warriors attempted to use it against the Yeti, who had a slick, ungraspable coat of hair due to the thick coat of oil it used to protect itself against the harsh weather of the Himalaya Mountains.

It was these same warriors that brought the technique to Tibet where they taught it to the Bon holy men who lived in the mountain kingdom. The holy men changed this technique into part of their ritual dance, and renamed it Stork and Lion Pray For Rain. At this point, the technique was almost completely in its mordern form.

However, almost a millenium later, when involved in a doctrinal dispute with the monks of the Shaolin Temple, the Bon priests, who had now switched to a syncretic form of buddhism, tried to use the technique in a friendly sparring match that had been called to settle the dispute. However, as efficient as the techniqe still was, the Tibetan Monks had to add a double flying spinning crescent kick, just because they wanted to show off their masculinity , which was challenged by the much more athletic, trim Shaolin Monks.

So, the technique, as it currently is, proceeds like this:

  1. Reach out and grab opponent by their beard or hair.
  2. Stepping backwards, so as to throw them off balance, pull their head to your gut level with one hand while pushing against their shoulder with an open palm
  3. Twist them around until they begin to yelp
  4. When they are starting to feel the pain, release the two double spinning flying crescent kicks to their head.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.