Watch Me: I Am a Woman
I extemporize on string theory as I weave through traffic
And then I fret over the color of my lip gloss: is it red enough, perhaps too pink; maybe I should go with the rose.
I mull over our society's increasing self-absorbtion and learned autism as I stare at a "Used Ipods" sign waiting at the red light.
I look in the rearview mirror: My god I see gray in my hair.
I notice a young couple puffing on cigarettes waiting at the bus stop--she: noticeably pregnant, he: young and scruffy looking. Both need some chicken soup.
There is a 75% increase in the chance of that young babe being born with a birth defect.
What can I do from my car, but worry?
Shit, I forgot to stop at the store to buy milk.
I have two watches that need batteries. Do we really need watches in this day of age?
At my job, everywhere I turn I see a clock.
Time compresses my world and suffocates me.
How much will those batteries cost and do I really need a watch?
I decide: yes. Besides they make good pieces of jewelry.
I've gained ten pounds and I'm so depressed.
But at least I have enough food to gain weight on . . . after all there are children starving in China and I've learned from the age of four to lick my plate clean.
Tomorrow I will start exercising more rigorously, after I eat this Chinese take out.
I calculate the cost of the labor, tax, and batteries in my head
The clerk/watchmaker/jewelry maker waits on me; he is handsome as hell.
But he's married. He's gay. He's whatever.
I need a date.
I like my watch that interweaves the gold and silver metals together. It looks classy.
Macy's is having a sale.
I listen to mindless conversations as I stroll through aisles of clothing.
Some things are better left to burrow in your skull than to fall out of your mouth.
The late 30s blond blows up at her husband because she can't find the right clothing.
Welcome to my hell bitch and quit complaining. You're a size 10. Fuck you.
I wonder who made these clothes? Was it some poor child in Guatamala sweating over a sewing machine making enough money to buy some rice for the family meal?
I try on the brown sweatsuit. Okay the legs are too long, but it flatters my belly and ass.
I hold my breath every time I try something on. It's so frustrating.
My breasts always pop out of my wire bra. It's a good bra, what the hell.
I listen to an older woman yell directives and make clothing suggestions to her elderly mother.
If someone talks to me like that at when I'm that age: shoot me or shoot them. I liked what the elderly lady said, "Hey, I'm old." Right on, grandma.
I try on a gazillion clothes--ahh too long; too wide; too short
What will happen when I wash them?
Perhaps I can stretch that shirt out at home.
I'll do that as I'm practicing for the math section of the GREs.
I hate math as much as I hate cleaning. But then again, math can be beautiful-- especially algebra--and so can a clean house.
I meander around the store looking for all the 50% off racks.
I try on all those clothes and they look horrible on me.
No wonder they were 50% off. That's a good deal plus 40% off the ticketed price. I have a coupon for $10 off and then I get 20% off my entire purchase. Shit, what the hell does that come to?
I have two weeks left to study for the GREs. The verbal is my strong point.
I'm on the fence about what I should get my PhD in . . . I mean what the hell, I'm a teacher a leader a scientist an artist. Christ. Too many choices, and then again, maybe I'm an idiot.
I'll get 15 rejection letters in the mail and that decision will be made for me.
I'm going to try that new recipe I found in that book I bought for $3.99 at Borders. What a deal. Cheap meals and good too. Gawd I love bargains.
I feel like Wonder Woman now I've bought an entire spring wardrobeto enhance what I had . . . now I'm done shopping. I totally rock.
Men don't get this.
I have to stop at the Dollar Tree and buy an appliance light for my fridge.
But I also need two boxes of those Whoppers because I'm having a serious chocolate attack.
And I think of the watchmaker. Chocolate is a good second best.
Watch Me: I Am a Woman