rings and I don't recognize
the number of the person
calling me. Its early. 8am Monday
and my caffiene
hasn't kicked in. Nobody else I know should be calling
right now. Its too early for the lackeys I work with to be calling in slack, even... Preturbed
, I reach for the receiver.
"Danielle, good morning
. This is Blah blah blah
of Yadda Yadda Yadda
calling and we'd like to discuss some of Mr. Jones'***
plans for this week." It sounds like this is all this person does every day. So rehearsed. So official. A real go getter
" I reply and fumble
for a notepad
that I can write legibly
"Yes, we're flying So and So
up to Toronto
to meet with Mr. Jones and we'd like him to touch base
on the evening
s. He'll be staying at the Hilton
near the airport
and we will notify
you via email
when we obtain confirmation
of his travel itinerary
" I reply and watch Outlook
stall. "When is he arriving?"
"They are tentative
ly arriving next Thursday P.M. at approximate
ly 3:30. Do you know the distance
the Hilton is from the airport by any chance?"
down nothing. "The Hilton Airport is at the Airport." I pause, searching for a reaction
but I hear nothing but keystroke
s clittering away on the other end of the line. "I'm sure there will be shuttle bus
es running to the door or there will be limousines
at the arrival doors
to take him down the road to his hotel if he cannot walk
or take a bus."
"Very well then, I will email you once all the plans
ed. I expect to hear back from all parties
involved this afternoon."
"Okay, I'll forward your email to Mr. Jones when it arrives."
"I've already left him messages on his cell phone
and have sent him an email
"Okay. Then I'm sure he's receive
d your message
, but I will follow-up
with him once he's arrive
"Do you need me to reiterate
"Pardon?" I joke. The caller isn't on the same humorous plane as I am
and I interrupt them before they run through the entire story again.
from my cubicle
illustrates an example of a typical conversation
that takes place between two people who are working with others who are out to kiss each other's asses
in the corporate world
is a dialect
. Its used in times and places where confidence
is an issue and where liability for the outcome of a task or situation
may be at stake. Its used just like clichés
are and when the wrong person uses the same phrase to initiate a discussion of warm fuzzy
corporate nature too many times, they are labeled as a puppet by their subordinate
Those who are subject to too much of the above tend to become completely brainwash
ed or disgruntled
and or disinterested
with the actual nature of their job
not his real name.