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What a cowboy looks like in a goth club. Anything which just doesn't look or act like it fits into its surroundings. a jock looks out of place at a 2600 club meeting.

How long
did I mislove you?

Like mistaking you for a different pet
in the darkness
like waking up perfectly sober
with my keys
in the kitchen

How long have I been remembering wrong
the wrong favorite book
the wrong birthday
the wrong shoe size

The wrong rain and the long drive through
warm tones of melting electricity
bad radio music and gas station dinner
and the doubt that anyone would be there
waiting up for us, all wrong

How long have I been staring at birds
swatting at flies, nesting
on the wrong person's food, how long
have I confused you
for someone who can be in my life

 

(
She's never had a reason
to wait this long before)
if I remember the colors of your scabs and bruises
first,
then I won't want to fill in the blanks

With your missing toothbrushes and
t-shirts and camera film, I want
the drastic, immobilizing
mindflinch
that hits me when I hear your birthday and
bad radio music and
new love
to be reasonless
misplaced and unidentifiable

Someone with a different blood type
and a different lustmoan and if
she wears the same shoe size, well
it won't make a difference
I'll be busy hiding the thought
that while someone else is filling those shoes
I haven't missed a thing

 

date unknown
sometime between Summer 2014 and Summer 2015

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