Firstly, for those who are not familiar with them, or perhaps know them by another name, a wacker compactor is a machine used in the construction industry for flattening areas of the ground by compacting the dirt. They are basically a vertically reciprocating foot with a motor on top and handlebars at the back. These machines are designed with the intention that the operator stands behind the unit, pushing it along. In case anyone reading this has already gotten the same idea I did from this, please finish reading before attempting to implement it. I made a visit to the Police station this morning to find out the official word on some stuff I was unsure about in the Motor Vehicles Act. I don't know your state or even country's view on what this node discusses, so please check your local legislation before attempting. Also, please do not get yourself killed because of anything you read here.

We all know about Newton's Third Law Of Motion, right? So, what if we were to run a wacker compactor without anyone grabbing the handlebars holding it down? As the foot slams into the earth below it, the vertical travel will instead be transferred to the machine's body. Ok, so it seems we can make this thing hop up and down on the spot, so what?

This brings us to the second point of significance in the machine's motion. What happens when a helicopter's main rotor pitches? The body of the chopper soon follows, dunnit? Now imagine if you will what would happen if the wacker compactor's CG were shifted off-centre. What you now have is thrust as it were in both the vertical and horizontal planes.

By sitting on top of a wacker compactor, it is very difficult to control your balance, especially while moving. The process is of course easier with practice. Riding a wacker compactor is not like riding a horse or a motorbike, and it does not have the self-stabilisation of a Segway, it is more like a unicyle or really a motorised pogo stick. Examination has found that particularly for males, riding wacker compactors can be a very painful process. Not only is staying on difficult enough in itself, but the rider is straddling a running petrol engine. Further, the vibrations may induce headaches or broken bone tissue in the rider. I realise I might be starting to sound a little discouraging, but for every problem there is a solution. I recommend against seat belts in case of emergency. I do however strongly recommend wearing PPE, especially a helmet. A padded seat would also probably be a good idea.

If someone else does get this procedure working more effectively before me, please do be kind to whatever surface you choose to ride on. And again, have fun, be safe.

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