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Tenuous Trust Insurance Company - Diversity Program Offers New Personas

To kick off 2020 Tenuous Trust associates will be required to select company specified identity characteristics such as ethnicity, religion, gender, and age irrespective of what characteristics the associate possesses. This new approach to improving diversity was recently announced by company president and CEO Michael Fairmack.

The program requires associates to log onto Tenuous Trust’s diversity website and enroll in an available “persona package”, or “PP”. Each PP is made up of pre-formulated traits and characteristics that ensure a completely diverse work-force.

A committee of senior executives has carefully selected each trait and characteristic to ensure a high-quality diverse workforce. The program boasts 10 different categories of traits and characteristics such as: gender, race, and spiritual beliefs.

Jack Hanover, VP of Human Resources is excited about the current choices the new program will offer associates. “Our study concluded that 10 traits and characteristics will provide more than enough variance to guarantee complete statistical diversity within the enterprise.”

Fairmack said that the new program is part of Tenuous Trust’s enhanced vision. The diversity program is expected to be the most cost-effective way of building a truly diverse work force. Said Fairmack, “our traditional hiring practice was encumbered by the difficulty in attracting associates with diverse gender, ethnic, and social economic backgrounds. That conventional approach to building a diverse workforce was just too hard and unrealistic. In the future our associates will select a new and optimized identity from the collection of persona packages we provide and viola, we’ve got diversity.”

After selecting a PP, associates need only assimilate to those ethnic, religious, and social traits within 60 days.

It is anticipated that all associates will embrace the new program. Tenuous Trust’s HR department is especially enthusiastic about the program and is already thinking about enhancements.

Buck Hanson, who helps implement the project explained, “we have already increased the traits and characteristics from 10 to 20 for next year’s release. It includes 8 gender selections, as well as traditionally unvirtuous characteristics such as ‘jerk’ and ‘asshole’, or gender specific characteristics like ‘royal dick’ and ‘bitch’”.

Future enhancements might even add intangible personality traits such as humor, compassion, and empathy. Said Hanover, “I do feel badly that our current program doesn’t offer any psychological or emotional characteristics that define the essence of the human condition.” I don’t know what else to do except encourage our associates to develop those sorts characteristics entirely on their own.”

To help ensure a smooth transition the company will provide workshops for associates who want to learn more about their newly selected persona package. Said Hanover, “We want everyone to be as familiar and comfortable with their PP as possible. For some, this will come easy, but others may need training, coaching, or even props to pull off a successful transition.”