UUUUUHHHHHhhhhhhhhg...........
...
...
...
It's weird; I didn't want either candidate to win and yet I felt really nervous about the election. I was all but shaking by ten o'clock despite having no clear preference. Actually, I think I did have a preference. I expected Hilary to win and in that expectation started lining up reasons why it would be good for Donald to lose. On one hand I'm all for managing anxiety, but I think there is something fundamentally wrong with shifting your political perceptions to align with who's projected to win. This same process has occurred to reduce my concerns regarding our new president by telling me that there is an entire political machine in D.C. to restrain him.
But what do I really think? I pride myself on a certain level of objectivity and I like to think that I have the ability to parse at least my own thoughts given the time to calm down and really introspect. So, regarding the question of what kind of president Trump will be and how the next four years will go I have to say: I don't know. I don't think anyone does, we've never seen him in a political office. The pattern I saw during the campaign trail was that Trump was dishonest. So was Hilary. I am positive that he will ignore many of his campaign promise because they were just absurd. I suspect that the next four years will be a major disappointment to most of his supporter but that is as much cynicism about politics as actual knowledge.
What bothers me the most about this is that I see myself doing something wrong. I'm self signaling that I care about this election but not actually going through the effort to learn the issues to a sufficient degree that I could make a real informed decision. Why not? It's not a matter of time, I have free time. It's a matter of caring. Not apathy, caring. I know myself well enough that I know that if I actually research the issues I'm pretty likely to start caring about them. And if I care about them and the wrong person wins it's going to hurt. Really, really hurt. I know. I've had things that I care about fall apart. So, I choose a measured amount of ignorance and tell myself that I care. I'm a good citizen who tried to make the best choice. Even though, I really only looked long enough to satisfy myself that I tried. I don't have a good solution to this behavior but I believe that one is out there.
And knowing is half the battle.
9 FAST 9 FERROUS