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Warning: Discussion of poop to follow

When you enter a porta potty what is the #1 thing you expect to be in there?... Toilet paper, right? I mean, you're lucky if there's some soap or hand sanitizer, but for the love of Pete you expect there to be something there to wipe your bum!

Now you can probably imagine how horrified I was after taking a massive dump in said porta potty only to find out there was indeed no toilet paper. And quite frankly, I don't think they ran out. I think they set the dumb thing up without any to begin with. I can only wonder how many other poor souls went through the same problem I had that day.

What would you do if this happened to you? Have you thought it through? Because I'm telling you, looking for toilet paper in porta potty ahead of time isn't exactly the first thing you're thinking about when you're about to have a blow out in your pants. Quite frankly, I had eaten too many cranberries, if you know what I mean.

Luckily I had a reporter's notepad with me. Only 3 unused pages, but hey it was something. Because I surely wasn't going to do the old, "Be a man, use your hand" routine. Quite frankly there wouldn't have been enough hand to go around.

3 pages in, I realize hard paper doesn't exactly have the same wiping capacity as does soft double padded regular toilet paper. So I had to start utilizing some pages from the front of the notebook that had been written all over. It was a good cause, I figured. Many, many pages later, I walked out of that porta potty with sweat dropping off my forehead. It was a hot day and the porta potty itself was toasty. I was several hours away from a blissful and much needed shower, but at least my trusted notepad came in "handy."