Robert Rankin has proposed in his books that Sprouts are a demonic race. Anyone who has seen the obligatory sprout lurking on the edge of their plate at christmas time will not doubt the menace of these green spheroids. If you read his books you will be presented with overwhelming evidence of their evil intent. I shall merely supply you with the the following information:

  • With the rise of vegetarianism humans pose a threat to sprouts
  • There is a vast sprout attack fleet hiding behind the moon, waiting for the moment to strike.
  • Traffic Cones are their advance scout vessels. They spy on our next generation . How else do you explain the mysterious appearance of cones in strategic positions and often high vantage points around universities?
  • There was a talkative time sprout named Barry in Elvis' head.

    And who would doubt the word of the Rankin?