Damn it! I'm an adult! Damn it! I'm an adult!
The words I keep repeating in my head since my eighteenth
birthday. I don't want to be an
adult! Who the hell decided that I'm now
of age since I turned 18? I don't feel like an adult. It's just
weird. No one telling me what to do. Fuck, I have no idea where to go from here! A
college degree is some kind of general goal, but then what? Get
married? Settle down? My feelings
on parenting? Jeez! I can't believe that I'm already thinking about all that stuff. A few of my friends from high school are already talking about getting
engaged, and all I can think is, "No way in hell am I ready for
life." I still have so much
crap I want to do as a kid, I'll never have enough time as an adult.
I pay my own
rent, I pay
bills, I pay for
food, yet I don't feel like an adult. I don't ever want to feel like an adult. I'm
freaked out by the thought of it. It's like my
dream lasted for a brief second before turning into this huge
nightmare.
On a side note, I went out and bought
lottery tickets and
cigarettes the day I turned eighteen. The damn lady at the counter didn't even ask for
ID! I don't even get the simple pleasure of pulling out my driver's license and saying, "Hey! I'm an adult now!" Not that it would be a pleasure... Hell, I don't even smoke or gamble...
Jezz, what the fuck am I talking about. I should just accept the damn fact that I'm an adult and hit the daily grind...