Heavy sigh.
Coming here to E2 after having been gone 13 years is so hard. I suffer from a major depression problem, and this place is like field covered in landmines for me. Every day I see '"6 years ago" and "9 years ago" So many people I knew to varying degrees are gone. I had several friends here, and only one remains though he doesn't seem to even remember me now :( I don't blame him for not remembering me that was 13 years ago and he's met many many people over the years since.
Everywhere I turn here is sadness for me. Knowing this noder is no longer even alive anymore, and this other one may not be. I try to navigate these waters and not think about that but it's always "9 years ago" at every turn.
Even my home node, which I was so proud of and worked so hard on to make it what I felt was very worth the read - makes me sad. I don't want to change it, it's like an archeological site to me, it's my life and this site frozen in time since my 2nd to last time here before I never made it back for over 13 years. I want to stay here, I totally loved the site and especially my fellow noders back then, and never planned on being gone for 13 years. But I somehow have to find a way to be here without becoming more depressed then I was when I got here each day. I wish there was a way to block the "6 years" ago from every.single.damn.post. I have a couple of friends who know a bit of programming, I wonder if I could get them to change the interface to either not show the time since that noder was last here or even better get it to lie to me and all have a random date of less than "3 months ago"
A few have recommend I leave my home node just as it is - frozen in time. And start a new home node above the original. I may do that, because one of my favorite things to do here on E2 back then was work on my home node, it was so fun!
HUG
Sad Whitney