A
lot of people have it pretty easy in
life. They can pretty much coast along, only stopping every once in while to appreciate that they're free of horrendous diseases and most of their loved ones seem to be alive and well. Like, me, for instance. But, every once in a while it seems
the gods like to toss a little thing down at you to let you know, "Hey, buddy. You know.. it
could be worse. You've got it pretty
easy."
Sure,
there's a lot of suffering to see on TV recently, (not that there wasn't before) but to really appreciate how good you have it, you need to experience a taste of ill fortune.
With that in mind, following my
chemistry class last
thursday night I was driving down a fairly large 4 lane road in my area, one which I take to and from class every day when a large male
deer suddenly took it upon himself to leap in front of my car even though the road offered a perfectly respectable selection of other
vehicles.
My
car struck the
buck and I was treated to a great view of it's
silhouette, which included an impressive set of antlers followed by a
morbid crunch like the Potato Chips of God. Looking back, I'm happy to say that the following scream which issued from my mouth was decidedly manly, as opposed to that
effeminate shriek which many men make in comedy films when confronted with horrific circumstances.
Luckily for me, this didn't knock me into the
opposing lane of traffic and I was able to pull over to the shoulder and
get out of the car to run back and make sure that the other four cars stopped behind me hadn't somehow had an
accident as a result of
several hundred pounds of healthy
animal suddenly flying into the air in front of them.
The
buck wasn't so lucky and I had the unpleasant experience of watching him die with no means to painlessly
expedite the process.
Meanwhile, my better, and what I now believe is my dumber half, convinced me to wait there for the
police despite the fact that I
had no license and no insurance. I had managed to avoid being pulled over for the past seven months and all of a sudden I want to sit around and wait for the cops who I know are going to do
unpleasant things to me. I must have been in
shock. Well, I had killed
something, even if it wasn't a
human. That's what you're supposed to do when you kill something bigger than a
rabbit with your car, right? Wait around for the
bacon on wheels.
So I waited. They had the
courtesy at least not to haul my stupid ass away, but still they slapped me with
citations that will probably cost me upwards of 1500
American dollars.
But, I'm still
alive, although I'm more afraid of crazed suicide road deer than
terrorists at the moment.