Not really a shaggy dog story, because it does have a
punchline, but close enough. I present to you:
The Cornflake Joke. This joke is supposed to be told in person (as will become obvious), and you get
bonus points for making the audience start
singing along the
refrain with you.
One day, on the
conveyor belt at the
cornflake factory, the
grandmother cornflake called over the
baby cornflake. In her rickety, shaking voice, the grandmother cornflake intoned: "I'm not going to last too much longer, and before I go, there's one thing that I want you to know. This is important,
sonny, so listen up: Whatever you do, wherever you go, however you get there, the
single most important thing in life is to
be at the top of the box of cornflakes. The best cornflakes are at the top of the box. Got that,
sonny?
Be at the top."
And no sooner had the grandmother cornflake uttered these words than cornflake
inspector #4 came by, noticed her, and threw her out because she had too many
spots, leaving the
baby cornflake all alone.
Eventually, the
conveyor belt came to an end, and the baby cornflake was dumped into a
box of cornflakes. As
fate would have it, the
baby cornflake was at the bottom of the box.
But, he remembered what his grandmother cornflake had said: "The best cornflakes are at the top of the box." So he pushed and he pulled and he pulled and he pushed, and he got to the
top of the box.
Now, a worker came by, and picked up the box of cornflakes, and stacked it on a
pallet...and the little cornflake got all shook up, and he fell to the bottom of the box.
But, he remembered what his grandmother cornflake had said: "The best cornflakes are at the top of the box." So he pushed and he pulled and he pulled and he pushed, and he got to the top of the box.
Just then, a
forklift came by to pick up the
pallet and put it in the back of a truck...and the little cornflake got all shook up, and he fell to the bottom of the box.
But, he remembered what his grandmother cornflake had said: "The best cornflakes are at the top of the box." So he pushed and he pulled and he pulled and he pushed, and he got to the top of the box.
When all of the
pallets are loaded on the truck, the truck driver comes by and slams the
back of the truck down.
In fact, he slams it down so hard that the entire truck shakes...and the little cornflake got all shook up, and he fell to the bottom of the box.
But, he remembered what his grandmother cornflake had said: "The best cornflakes are at the top of the box." So he pushed and he pulled and he pulled and he pushed, and he got to the top of the box.
Eventually, the truck driver starts the truck. Unfortunately, the truck driver never went to
truck driving school, and he ends up
backing into a wall on the way out of the lot...and the little cornflake got all shook up, and he fell to the bottom of the box.
But, he remembered what his grandmother cornflake had said: "The best cornflakes are at the top of the box." So he pushed and he pulled and he pulled and he pushed, and he got to the top of the box.
And, as
fate would have it, the truck driver also
hits the curb turning on to the
main street...and the little cornflake got all shook up, and he fell to the bottom of the box.
But, he remembered what his grandmother cornflake had said: "The best cornflakes are at the top of the box." So he pushed and he pulled and he pulled and he pushed, and he got to the top of the box.
Driving down the
highway, finally, the truck gets passed by a
convertible. The driver in the convertible is listening to some music with a lot of
bass, the vibrations causing the truck to
shake from the proximity...and the little cornflake got all shook up, and he fell to the bottom of the box.
But, he remembered what his grandmother cornflake had said: "The best cornflakes are at the top of the box." So he pushed and he pulled and he pulled and he pushed, and he got to the top of the box.
Etc.
Etc. The joke continues (going to the grocery store with the
stock boy who kicks boxes, the children who grab it and the mother puts it back, the family who buy it but
get hit by a car on the way home, it being sent back to the factory because it's
expiration date has passed, the now
grandfather cornflake instructing the
new generation, the joke starting all over...
until a member of the
audience gets impatient and shouts, "
Just get to the end already!"
And that's when, with a
straight face and
knowledge of the nearest exit, you say:
"But there is no end; it's a
serial!"