G.E. Smith: The most unlikeable talented guy in the history of
television.
I am one of those give-it-a-chance-it-will-be-funny-again
idiots that watches
Saturday Night Live all the fucking time, even when I know without a shadow of a doubt that it will be
stupid and
banal. I love it even when it
sucks, which is most of the time these days. But Jesus God and Baby Jesus how I
hated G.E. Fucking Smith and his
arrogant "I'm-either-just-about-to-
vomit...-or-
ejaculate-all-over-the-back-of-this-
guitar" facial expressions and his
masturbatory guitar playing and the annoying way his hair always needed to be washed (not to mention cut), and the way he very obviously refused to admit that he was an aging
dork who was never going to have a job more impressive than being "that horribly, maddeningly annoying asshole on the guitar from the SNL band" and the way his clothes were always ill-fitting and did I mention that arrogant,
shit-eating half-scowl/half-cocky-asshole-don't-you-wish-you-were-one-tenth-as-smooth-as-me-smirk he invariably sported? Every time I saw him it made me scream and carry on until people who truly
love me got into the habit of covering my eyes when it looked like it might be time for one of those
gratuitous, time-filling shots of him when a
commercial was pending. He's not on the show anymore, which to me suggests that there might actually be a
God after all. I wish him
poverty and
pestilence.