I don't know if I should laugh or cry. A couple weeks ago I was listening to NPR (hold your tongue!), All Things Considered was the program airing at the time, and this Romanian poet with a thick accent was sharing his views on the unexpected advent of SPAM-inspired poetry. He had noted that SPAMmers were using randomly disassociated words in their subject headings and even in the bodies of their messages in order to circumvent SPAM blocking software. While deleting such messages from his Inbox he'd noticed that the subject titles, while completely unrelated to one another, had somehow managed to create a sort of poetic montage the likes of which would make any DaDa Movement advocate weep and pull his/her hair out with passion and envy.

So I got this today, in my Hotmail Inbox, and sat stunned, staring at the screen, feeling creepy and cynical at the same time:


From : Eli Moody {bunddl@pochtamt.ru}
Reply-To : "Eli Moody" {bunddl@pochtamt.ru}
Sent : Saturday, April 3, 2004 11:49 PM
To : #######@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: Due Balance, account ####### - mortician necromancers defined by 84



Unlike so many haunches who have made their polka-dotted ball bearing to us. Any blithe spirit can play pinochle with toothpick near, but it takes a real cyprus mulch to scooby snack behind scythe. Cigar play pinochle with tape recorder off. Now and then, from support group bestow great honor upon buzzard beyond pit viper. Marguerite and I took for corporation (with mating ritual around about) avocado pit.

Clothe contravention cuddly dusky drab.

When anomaly beyond buzzard gets stinking drunk, mortician related to microscope meditates.

Depression daffy coruscate biconcave edgewise hoc.


There is an intelligence among us: SPAM circumvention software which generates messages typical of the one above. Sadly, it makes as much contextual sense as Robin Williams on a crack/LSD cocktail.