I've come to believe that no matter how difficult it is between you and the people you love, especially your children, it isn't a good idea to close yourself off to them. At this time of year especially, forgiveness is very important, and you must reach into the depths of unconditional love to remember what it really means.
I work at a shelter for troubled teen girls, and while many of them are receiving passes from their probation officers to spend time with their families for the holidays, there are those who will be spending Christmas at the shelter. For one in particular, this is the result of her parents deciding that she has fucked up once too often and they don't want her to be with them for Christmas. While this girl is often strong and defiant, she's taken to crying in her sleep lately, and as I sit in the hallway and listen, it breaks my heart.
We judge all too quickly these days, in a time where we feel we are defined by what we stand for and how strongly we hold to those convictions. We have become all too self-righteous in our efforts to prove we are right when we are all, at the very core, completely wrong. I believe that admitting we are wrong in the face of what others believe is right is the key to healing. Does being right matter? Or do other people matter? This concern for the self and watching out for "number one" is a bloated and confused doctrine, and I am always, always very wrong.
We think of the child at this time of year, from the mythological origins of the season, the birth of a savior as a child, to the focus on gifts and magic in the eyes of children. And still we fight. And still we argue. And still we claim to be righteous while telling others they are wrong. We miss the message, which is to love and accept and to not attack and destroy in the name of our own professed righteousness.
Take a step back and think about how pure your goals really are and how your beliefs and convictions impact the lives of others. Is it worth it?
Somewhere in New Hampshire a girl is crying herself to sleep because her parents have told her she has fucked up too often to be welcome in their home for Christmas.
In this lies the key to where we have all lost our way.