Why? Why do I constantly have dreams filled with celebrities? It can't be because I work with retired Hollywood types, now can it?

I enter the dream, and I'm in my living room. A PC is on the floor, its guts exposed. It's obviously in need of a little fixin' up.

So, I pop in a circuit board of some kind, twiddle with a few jumper settings, and voila! The computer hums to life.

Just then The Backstreet Boys walk in my living room. Apparently the computer belongs to Nick Carter. He offers to give me some backstage passes to their concert that night. While I'm thinking, "Some payment, jerk!", I'm also thinking, "Nick's really cute, especially now that he's a little chubby. And wasn't he on the cover of XY Magazine a couple of years ago?"

So, I accept.

The "concert" the boys took me to ended up being a William Shatner concert. I actually had to sit through a full rendition of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" in my dream, when all I wanted to do was get naked with cute Nick.

Cute Nick, however, had other ideas. He jumped up on stage with Shatner, sang horribly with him, and then started flicking lit cigarettes at the audience, all of whom, myself included, had become six years old.

Angered by this, I jump on stage, meaning to wallop the both of them for providing such shoddy and potentially dangerous entertainment, and end up instead kissing Shatner. Bleah! If it was going to be a Star Trek captain I kissed in a dream, why couldn't it have been Patrick Stewart? Hell, even Kate Mulgrew!!

Nick got mad/jealous/suprised over this, and told me that I wasn't being faithful to him, so he and the rest of the boys left.

The rest of the dream was spent in frantic effort to call Nick to apologize. I kept being diverted by his very suspicious mother, who kept telling me that there was simply no way Nick would hang out with fags like me. So I sent her a copy of that XY magazine.

Then, to make the dream perfect, I noded the experience ... only in the dream, I noded it under Daily Evil. Then I wake up.