You shock me frequently, and not always in a pleasant way, but you know that. However, of all the times you shock me, most of it is just my mock-offense and melodramatic predisposition taking over - again, you know that. You know me, and that’s what shocks me most - you know me and still like me.
We spend a lot of time together now, I suppose that happens when two people live with each other, but we do spend time apart. I know you hate it. But when I came home today after three days apart, I guess I finally understood.
I can peel back every part of myself, every layer, and even all the ugly, disgusting parts that lay far beneath the surface that I try my damnedest to keep covered and hidden - you’ll watch the whole process and take me as I am. You won’t try to fix me, but you’ll help me find out how I can go about patching myself together.
As we sat on the hood of our beat up but reliable car watching the eclipse, I guess I stopped feeling like I had to hide. I can be gross and deplorable sometimes so long as I make an effort not to be, to be even better than just not terrible. I reckon that’s not much, and I should want more out of myself for you, but it’s a start.