Well, more than
myths these would be
overgeneralizations, because I can assure you that there is a healthy minority of women that
actually enjoy having their
nipples pinched by
clothspins, being
spanked, being called '
bitch' and other even
squickier things.
The vulgar error lies in supposing that every woman's (and every man's) sex drive works in the same way. This is an error perpertrated in porn, but also in FEM-PORN: consider pieces of advice like "dress up in kinky lingerie" or anything including honey. Not every man likes that, much like not every woman likes to be spanked.
As a matter of fact, one of the most delicate (and enjoyable) things about a long-term relationship is exploring what the other person likes. But it cannot be rushed, at least not in my experience.
If you feel the urge to downvote this, please tell me why: or, better yet, node your thoughts.