A tale of the last two weeks or so…
Christmas Eve, Borgo slips on ice, hears the SNAP of the bone before he hits the ground. Breaks fibula on right leg. Have daughter call 911 at around 1:00 AM. Spend night in emergency room getting bone set and fitted for cast. Try and flirt with nurse, Unsuccessful. Tell my story to doctor who says a lot of people came in with injuries due to slipping on the ice. He claims that one person says the bullet wound he suffered was result of “slipping on the ice”. Borgo remains skeptical.
A week or so later make appointment to see specialist. He removes cast and places Borgo in a “walking boot”. Borgo rejoices! He can now take a shower without encasing his leg in plastic! Borgo gets too over confidant and slips going down the stairs in his home wrenching his back. Next couple of days spent on couch with Vicodin, Percocet and remote control for company
January 6, Borgo leaves house and goes back to work! Arrive home and smells gas upon entry. Calls local gas company and they confirm gas leak. Borgo now has no heat and needs to get a plumber to research leak and fix.
January 7, Borgo awakes to a house temperature of around 47 degrees Fahrenheit. Takes cold shower and decided to go to work since plumber won’t arrive until noon or so. On the way in car hits patch of ice and careens into a wall effectively removing the driver's side front end. On the sunny side, car still drivable, barely. Borgo turns around and goes home. Places claim with insurance company. Plumber arrives around two thirty and fixes leak. Gas company turns gas back on and presto!, Borgo has heat!
January 8, take car to body shop. Body shop closed until Monday! Borgo pissed.
January 10, return to body shop and try and call insurance company. Informed person assigned to handle my claim does not work on Mondays. Borgo tries to explain to voice on other end but to no avail. Will not get rental car today until claim is further “examined”.
January 11, Borgo’s rental car approved by insurance company! Borgo again rejoices. Calls Enterprise Car rental and is informed no cars available until January 12, sometime in the PM.
January 12, overnight 3-5 inches of snow falls. Car rental company calls around 2:00 PM to tell me car is ready. Car company to pick me up and take me to shop. 2:15 PM phone rings. Car that is coming to pick me up can’t get up road because road closed. City doing work on water leak. Borgo hobbles a block and half to meet car.
2:45 PM, arrive at car rental company. Customer Service Agent kindly asks which color minivan I’d prefer. Borgo shoots customer service agent dirty look and settles for a 2011 Mazda RX 6 (7?) with all of thirty miles on it. Borgo rejoices, yet again.
January 13, estimate comes back from insurance company. Damage equates to about $2800.00. Car not totaled but will take about two to three weeks to get repaired. Borgo curses and is out the $500.00 deductible.
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.
The sad thing is that’s not even February yet.