Moved from emotional intelligence by request.
I think of emotional intelligence as very different from intellectual intelligence. There is a difference between educational level and intelligence as well. I know a quite brilliant mechanic who did very poorly in school and doesn't interact with people very well. He needs a go between, but once he has that, he is brilliant at his work.
Emotional intelligence is recognizing ones own and other people's emotions. The United States is pretty squirrelly about emotions, especially regarding gender. Who are the strong, silent, passionate types? For justice, liberty and all. What about all the other emotions, grief, sentiment, fear, jealousy, anxiety? It is thoroughly depressing to have them assigned to gender. No wonder the young are rebelling and refusing to accept birth gender. I don't like to be ordered to be a certain way either.
I think the pursuit of happiness is at fault as well. I don't want to pursue happiness. I would rather have it sneak up on me, jump out at me, show up when it feels like it. I know I won't catch it anyhow. I celebrate grief as part of love, anger as part of working for justice, fear as part of seeing the world and humans as they really are, rather than as a Barbies and Kens. I am fine with being happy when I am happy, sad when I am sad, confused and annoyed when someone tells me how I feel and they are wrong and not listening, and overjoyed when I am overjoyed. I don't have to act on anger. It's more like entertaining it: a temporary house guest that comes for tea and to tell me something. I listen. Sometimes I go to the subject/object and ask if I have interpreted something correctly. Mostly I haven't. Sometimes I just let anger go, once it gets done cursing. I let it have its' moment.
A gene has been put in a potato to tell us when the plant is thirsty. Maybe we could alter humans to be like squid, to light up different colors for different emotions. I would turn a warm rich pink when delighted to see you, my friend. And look, you are turning various colors, shy, embarrassed, and happy to see me!
______________
I am asked to share a definition of emotional intelligence: "Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ for "emotional quotient") is the ability to perceive, interpret, demonstrate, control, evaluate, and use emotions to communicate with and relate to others effectively and constructively." from here.