U-571,
condensed version:
germans: arrrrr! we're evil!
matthew mcconaughey: i'm southern
bill paxton: they're not paying me enough to act in this movie
germans: arrrrr! we be evil pirates o' the sea!
harvey keitel: i'm grizzled
jack noseworthy: it's been 7 years since 'dead at 21' but i somehow manage to look even younger than i did then.
germans: by the way, we're EVIL!
token black actor: shiiiiit brutha', that's jive
movie: if you haven't seen das boot you're probably thinking that i'm a tense riviting action thriller! if you have seen das boot: i'm sorry for being such a derivative peice of crap.
germans: we're still EVIL!!!!
torpedo: i am the most powerful torpedo in the world, this entire german destroyer is going to blow up and sink ALL AT ONCE within FIVE SECONDS when i hit it.
director: germans are evil.
THE END.