Today is my IRL birthday. Dylan Taylor Singletary was born May 13, 1980 and turns 22 today. I have a twin brother, Devon Tyler Singletary who is identical and was born thirteen minutes after me. I've been feeling weird about this birthday. The whole I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23 thing, it's creeping up so fast. I've got to get some work published. Scattered poems and webzines here and there isn't enough progress. And since moving to Portland I've done little in the way of public performance. Something is still brewing... I get scared that it will just keep brewing and never percolate.
I wish I knew computer animators. I wish I knew people in positions that would allow me to experiment with my ideas. I'm almost trapped in the art of writing, I never feel like I'm going to accomplish exactly (not even that strict of a word) what I want to be doing. I love chance. I love chaos. I love experimentation. I want to bridge many worlds, and explode something that has been missing from the cultural/social landscape until then. I want to remove the "I" from all of my sentences--I want there to be a "we" that I am speaking about.
22. Maybe today I'll learn I have some neat mutant super-powers. Or my third eye will open all day long. I finally got a job after months of employment. I start that today too. A law office. A file clerk. On my birthday. They seem all right though.
Installing Gentoo linux for fun....
Be good to each other, everyone...
I did some Tarot this morning...
Stop blaming the world. By not getting clear on your highest priority, you have let yourself get distracted. Stop and recognize that you can't commit to several projects and serve them all very well. You will continue to feel internally conflicted until you clearly grasp your situation and commit to your highest priority.
If you get over the reflex to resist change, you will flow right into your wiser and fullest self.
The card in the Self-Undoing position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck -- until you examine yourself and make some corrections.
When Judgment appears in this position, you lack confidence in your infinite interior life. You seem to believe that everyone else's being is divine and yours is not. That you lack belief in your own worth, rightness and immortality is the very last veil that keeps you from reunion with your greater self.
You can pull this thin, transparent veil aside by choosing wholeness over fragmentation and obscurity. When the veil parts, you will feel it like a thunderclap, a trumpet blast. Your infinite being awaits your acceptance so it can bless you with all the powers and gifts you already naturally possess but may not be aware of.
Looks like it's time to get to work.