Hodgepodge: your follow-up to my
emotional prostitution led me here - I have a story similar to yours, it's different (for a start I am just a third party) but it is more complete than yours and you may appreciate it - Maybe I should put it in a seperate node but I think it's more appropriate here...
p.s. Anyone else reading this should read my
emotional baggage first, i am loathe to
nodevertise but this piece does assume knowledge of its content...
I have mentioned that I have an interest in people with
emotional baggage. My present
girlfriend is no exception. At the age of 15/16 she became close friends with two guys - especially close to one of them. She regarded him as her
soul mate, they made plans to mirror each other through their school careers (both wanting to be doctors). She even says that he once saved her life as she was getting
depressed through
bullying, she considered
suicide but he sensed this and made her promise never to do that to him. Of course she fell for him in a big way but then
Valentine's day came along and she got presents from both of her close friends. Although she loved this one guy so much she turned him down because she could not bear putting her other friend through that torture. Anyway, just over a month passed - things had got a bit difficult with
jealousy running high between the two guys, things came to a head at the end of
March when, despite her feelings she had a go at the guy she loved for doing something particularly childish towards the other.
And that was the last thing that she ever said to him.
She got home from something or other on the 1st April (April fool's day, ironic) and on the front page of the newspaper was "Boy in coma after road accident". He had been on a cycle ride, he took his helmet off to ring his parents to ask if he could stay out a bit longer. They had said 'no' and then he got hit by a speeding car while crossing the road back to his bike.
Three years on I meet this girl, we start going out and it turns out that she has found a second soul mate. When we met we were both in a bit of a mess ('emotional baggage' gives a bit more detail on my problems) but we picked each other up - for the first time my girlfriend has found a guy that she can open to and I am practically cured of my emotional baggage.
It is now four years since Jon died. my girlfriend still misses him occasionally and she still has the rose that he gave her for Valentine's day but this April was different - she still hurt but in a different way, she could feel that she was getting over him and the improvement was so great that she was actually feeling a little guilty about it. This was the first April where she could turn around and say "I am happy".
My girlfriend kept a diary ever since Jon's death and every entry was addressed to him. Every entry, that is until about 8 months ago. It is a perfect chronicle of her grief and her recovery. It was slow - and it needed help, but time healed her in the end.
I don't know what i am trying to say here, in fact I don't want to preach anything (after all, I am just a bystander). Take from this story what you will but for everyone's sake (including Lisa's) I hope you find the ability to move on soon.......