Castenado is the bad guy in Garth Ennis and Carlos Esquerra's comic book mini-series, Just A Pilgrim.
The series might be nothing more than your average, post-apocalypse, cowboys vs. pirates religious comedy fable, but Castenado is more than your average pirate. We're all familiar with the standard pirate captain - peg leg, eyepatch, hook-for-a-hand - but Castenado, he's the ultimate pirate captain. The pirate of the future.
Two hooks.
Two patches.
Two peg legs.
Castenado is a real nasty piece of work (in a blackly humourous way) - he loves his good lads to die for him, and he talks about himself in the third person (always a bad sign). Here, he addresses a couple of captives who have agreed to join his band of 'buckers', rather than die:
"... but have ye it in ye, lads? Could ye pass certain tests, were ye set them?
Could you chew the lips from a dead man's face, or wear a necklace o' dongs? Put nine times nine steel nails through yer skin? Kill infants still at the teat?
Take a goat, could ye, though there be thirty men in the line aheada ye, an' the poor beast's nethers be mush?"
As Mark Waid points out in his introduction to the collected edition, it is to Garth Ennis's credit that he treats this seemingly one-gag character with an entirely straight face, as it were, just as he did with so many characters in Preacher, Hitman and Hellblazer.