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Thinking of you
Is like staring at the sun
Underwater
Brilliant and unbearable
Beams of perfect light
Distorted waves of hard blues
And pain penetrating
Though the gaps
In my skull
So I cover my eyes
And my ears
And my mouth
Suffocating every would be breath
It's ok though
I stopped breathing when
You left
I didn't need to anymore
I've learned that I preferred
Holding my breath anyway
There was hope
And the ever present need to
Exhale
Superseded by my need to
Survive
When I let go to breathe in again
I realized that what I held in my lungs,
Was you
So I've learned to live underwater
Where I'll never have to breathe again.