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There have been a truly staggering number of dissociatives developed, tested, and sometimes put into circulation by professionals who fall into either or sometimes both the medical and recreational mindset classification. What doctors or even fundamentally helpless trivia collectors will acknowledge is that dissociatives are useful as anesthetics, therapy aids, and more importantly a way to permanently destroy many of the highly evolved faculties of the astonishingly complicated human brain.

What is not acknowledged by anybody of note is that without a lifetime of training and a deep and sincere belief in a lot of untenable fairytale mystical horseshit such as that evinced by Amazonian tribesmen or pre-Reform cloister malingerers is that it is almost impossible to fully project your mind out of the constantly although alternately more or less decaying meat vehicle in which the true mind form is forced to rattle like the glass marble in the bottom of a dry aerosol can.

My personal integrity demands in glaring neon like the set of a tacky futuristic movie that I rectify certain errors that have been committed as sincere words, lest my true mind be distorted by its own shadow. You see, I am not an aimless junkie shitbag. I am a purposeful junkie shitbag as has been implied even if heavily by my previous statements regarding Apocalypse and/or the end of the world.

When I am able to uncage my true mind and float in the luminiferous ether with my shining personal integrity decoupled from the other boring, dull, and subservient parts, I use it as a combination headlight, backhoe, and weapon of mass destruction. I have clarity of purpose undreamed of by any bone-nosed, dick waving shaman or middle-aged aristocratic unmarrageable nun who believes that they have communed with God or the spirit of the jaguar.

When I am working in the ether, building my walls and traps, and destroying the enemies of my personal integrity, some of whom are my predecessors and successors, all of whom have failed miserably where I will and have succeeded, the difference is plainly obvious. They believe or do not believe. I do not believe nor do I believe. They are trapped, I am free.

Occasionally when I am forced to take a padded leather and reinforced bedframe holiday from my important work and inhalant abuse I take the time to review the things that my previous and measurably less porous brain decided that it would be important to remember. Without those detailed notes, certain things come naturally but have the same function as if learned by cryptomnesis. I do not remember having learned them or committed them as I have so often been myself but they appear like the final guttering bursts of efficient operation that come at the end of a legitimately used propellant-aided paint dispenser which still contains the manufacturer's intended ratios of propellants, solvents, and pigments.