So you thought YOUR job sucked?!?
When I was going to Purdue, way back when the world was young, the Indianapolis Zoo was trying to institute an elephant breeding program. Having several cows and only one bull, they did not want to start inbreeding, so they received frozen semen from other zoos. One of my vet student friends was in a class where the class project was to assist in the artificial insemination of the cows. He described the experience to me thus:
"ok,imagine yourself standing on a stepladder, wearing a raincoat and a rubber glove that goes up to your armpit, covered in KY and holding a turkey baster..."
I'll leave the rest up to your imaginations (because I know they're WELL up to the job..) :-)