I actually wrote this some time ago, and just now decided to post it here for some reason. I guess I wrote it back in
November. I think I've calmed a little since. One would hope.
absolutely drowning in this over thinking passive drifting falling down. crestfallen doubt surging life moving slowly tumbling (stumbling) through
this cloud. if this is here then why am i --
folding piling aligning towels -
obsessive compulsive conducive restrictive. iron the bed sheets?
close the door. lock the eyes. fill the bottle and empty it now. dream of nothing sleep forever wake up drowsy
lost. broken (heart?) string. pants are faded worn and worn until there is no life left there. cold steely thought forest paths snow swallowed invisible.
"
this is how i live, this is where i start screamin'.."
everything (everything) in its right place. everything.
everything in its right place. maybe if the towels are folded and the bed is made and the plants are watered and the turtle is clean and the floor is swept and
the paper is straight and
the broken light bulb washes out the other side of the room. maybe if i sing and maybe if i make plans i can't keep. maybe i'll be in the right place. maybe tomorrow.
the light has been out for over a week.
the light is gone.