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he would touch my hand, i'd die a thousand times over and then emerge, painfully alive, in some peculiar place, alternate reality, where nothing was the same or how they meant it to be, and i loved it.

his lips pressed to mine and my eyelids dropped in fear, intense longing. opened again, coaxed by flesh, warmth, only to stare intently mindlessly at patterns in all too meaningful sky, carpet beneath shivering toes. you knew.

arms, wrapped around and holding, i'd had something before but it was not this. this, i remember, sealed faith in.. love, or life. everything.

just to hear your voice, i'd ask you, despite the wordless eye whispers that could have revealed deepest universe secret. fingers through broken smile lips, around lost words, pulled closer into my world, you couldn't know. wouldn't see torn heart bleeding, slow pulsing want, longing for you to stay just a little longer, i let you..

we had silent conversations.