Sometimes when I look at you I
cry inside, and I can't help but
smile at the fact that you don't, and probably never will realize how beautiful I think you are. Not in
physical appearance, though I guess you've got that covered too..
You've got these
amazing dreams, these plans these goals you'll never be able to
achieve them, not even a small portion of the huge
swelling mass of
thought'y matter in your head. All I can think is that
we're all quite lucky it's somewhat
contained. It's like.. I want to be that way,
I want to feel how you feel, dream like you.. I want that
star-locked gaze, I just want to be able to believe that
you're right, that such things are possible.
On the other hand.. I can tell that
part of me never wants to be like that, because it seems so far away from
reality sometimes. Though, if I were to really consider it, I'd
realize that not a whole lot in my world seems too entirely
real any way..
I have huge
conflicts in my mind, I can't distinguish reality from dream, from whatever else, because I don't think I want to believe what
I do of reality. Perhaps I even want my
reality to be something else entirely..
I don't know, it's kind of like this
tumbling seething vortex of utter confusion, but
the best kind, the kind that is so much more comforting than "
real" things. After all, reality might not even
exist, at least not any
one reality. There are far too many
completely different people in the world, with
varying thought patterns, crazy ideas that others couldn't
comprehend in their
wildest dreams..
I just don't think all of this
content can fit into
a single truth.