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Here are a few movie clichés that I could think of.

If there is a chase scene in a movie no doubt the person being chased will fall over especially if a woman. The man will stop to pick her up and then continue running. The terrain need not be uneven for our heroine to fall over, anything will do. The chaser will be, oh so hot on the tails of our intrepid chased heroes UNTIL the moment the heroine falls. At this moment the chaser will suddenly be quite a distance away.

If the heroes climb a tree then the villain is guaranteed to wait under that tree and rest/ look around without knowing that the hero is there.

The chase continues to a car which our heroes get into and drive away.

Or do they? Well the engine may take a couple of attempts to start, by which time the chaser has reached the car and is banging on the windows.

The chaser always bangs on the windows before trying the handles. This always reminds the heroes to lock the doors by way of the central locking (which all cars have).

Then the car finally starts just in time, because the chaser was just about to get in.

Any bullets fired by the chaser will smash the rear window but have no other effect.

All pedestrians have amazing reactions and can always get out of the way of a car chase in time. Fruit stalls are always smashed into, as are panes of glass being carried across the road.

The villain can be shot through his windscreen but the hero need only duck slightly to avoid being hit.

If a cop commandeers a car, the owner will tell them it is brand new/just repaired/not stolen. The car will get trashed.

So, they got away and made it home. Only to find the door ajar. This means that it is a good idea to enter saying timidly 'Hello?’

The answer phone will have recorded messages usually along the line "Hey it's me" then "Hey its me again" and then followed by "Hey it's me, you haven't phoned me back" before getting to the really important message i.e. the one that tell the heroine that the serial killer is her boyfriend.

Then to check the door. It looks like it has been opened using a credit card or paperclip. Quick, check the safe (hidden behind some grotesque portrait of an old lady in a chair). Oh no! it's been opened and there is evidence that a stethoscope was used.

Quick, to the phone. Call somebody. Need a number? Of course not, no-one looks up numbers. Anyway, it’s 555-something. No need to introduce yourself when speaking on the phone and no time to say goodbye either, what with the busy plot. More on phones, there is always one next to the bed and it is always knocked over should it wake you up in the morning.

The family teenager comes in and goes to his bedroom which is absolutely decorated, from top to bottom using every available inch of wall space, with anything that is deemed cool by the trends of that time; Bikes, bands, semi clad women etc.

So, who's the bad guy? Well it's the foreign guy or the Brit. And they are nearly invincible, appearing dead just long enough to fool the heroes into thinking they have won before getting up for the final fight. Despite size differences and the fact that the villain knows kung-fu and all other martial arts, the hero will always win. Usually due to cunningness.

In a gun fight the male hero will have gun knowledge and the heroine will always have the safety on while attempting the first shot. There is never any recoil from guns. The goodies never need to reload, either because of unlimited ammo or because, upon discarding their weapon they will find another. If a villain discards their weapon they will find no replacement or they will find one which is spent.

If the hero gets shot he will continue with no effect or he will have been wearing a bullet-proof vest. In the latter case the villain can shoot at the hero many times and upon realising that his shots have no effect will just question the logic rather than shooting the hero in the head.

Also, if, at the end of the movie, the hero gets shot and looks like he died. He will survive because the bullet will have been stopped by some artefact that the hero was about to throw away (Bible, late father's hip flask).

Even though the hero is a superhero or super spy, the lead female character will always save their life once during a movie. This is usually achieved by accident.

Talking of women. They always wear makeup to bed and in the morning the makeup is as good as it was the previous night, as is hair. They never need to go to the toilet but are always in the shower. Women never, ever have periods in movies but schoolgirls will use a period as an excuse to get out of the timid teacher's lesson.

And women are never alcoholics.

To change the subject to aliens. Always bipedal and human height. Sometimes speak English but most always speak the language of their planet. Yes, one race/language/dress sense per planet.

Bombs are always diffusible by cutting the carefully coloured wires but only 1 second before detonation. The time left is displayed by a red LED panel. The villain will always give the hero plenty of time to diffuse the bomb, about an hour. The hero will check his watch which will always display the correct time to the second.

All kidnappers know to cut the call after exactly two minutes to avoid being traced. After being cut off, the hero will hit the cradle and shout “Hello? Hello?”.

Well, see if you can spot them all in the movies you watch.