The Legend of thefez
Sheep go to Heaven
Goats go to Hell
Sheep go to Heaven
Goats go to Hell
--from Sheep go to Heaven by Cake
Born out of an unholy union between dem bones, jessicapierce, two goats, and a monkey, thefez was often ridiculed
by the elder gods for his unusual appearance; he had the torso of a man, the bald pate of his father and the legs and horns
of a goat. Unfortunately, his feckless nature did nothing to improve his standing amongst the gods: If he wasn't out looking for the mythical apefist and covorting with nymphs, you can bet he was babbling about the apefist and annoying everyone with stories about him cavorting with nymphs. Sometimes though, the elder gods would find him alone, lying in the tall grass, playing the flute and repeating the phrase "I like to be happy" over and over again. Needless to say, this only increased their ire.
Before long thefez grew tired of the incessant taunts and accusations of the elders and left for the sanctity and
sanctuary of the chatterbox. There the full measure of his godliness finally became known. He spoke loudly and nonsensically and
would strike fear and confusion into the hearts and minds of the most hardened noder. With every new feature he grew
stronger. For every new noder that came to worship at the alter of bones, there was another that would flock to the cult
of thefez; yet another voice to spread his syncopated gospel, one nodeshell at a time. Eventually the elder gods grew wary
of this activity and tried to put him down. They said he wasn't biodegradable. They said he was responsible for global
warming. The fools! He took their words and twisted them, fashioning his own fictions, until it even became known that he was responsible for that nameless fear which occasionally grips new noders when the chatterbox becomes silent. Today he watches and waits. One day he will be able to sit amongst the gods again. And as he waits, he listens to his minions shout nonesense into the chatterbox like prayers...
...and all is quiet...
...but for how long?