Yesterday was interesting. After church I stopped by the store where I used to work. A new guy was working next to someone I had worked with very briefly, only a day or two. He told me that my boss had gone to another store, and the assistant manager had been promoted. Two of the district managers had quit, and most of the rest of the people had too. It sounds as if there was a mass exodus primarily due to issues surrounding pay and salary, and I have to say, I'm not surprised, and not really shocked. A lot of these people hung together during difficult times, they were friends outside of work, and a part of me is really happy that they chose to leave due to these issues.
My family had agreed to meet for lunch, we were going to be celebrating my youngest daughter's birthday which had officially been last Tuesday. I was there way ahead of schedule, and when I asked what time we were meeting, my youngest sister said noon, but that I would be astonished at the fact that they were running late. I sent a text back to her saying that once in her life she could get a free pass, and I'm glad I did that because it was a joke we went back to later on that day. It was nice to see people, but very hard to watch both of my children eating things that they should not. I can't imagine what all of that bread, cheese, and ice cream is doing to them internally, but I let myself be sad for a moment, particularly when I was sitting at a table with my oldest, and moved forward.
Since I want to start The Metabolism Plan, I had gone to the store for various things the book required. I made substitutions even thought it warned against it, and I'm okay with this. I made both the carrot ginger soup well as the broccoli variety. Something about it is not super appealing to me, maybe it's the zucchini, but I'm hoping that this is a temporary thing because I made a lot of soup. The first time I went to the store I forgot to buy flax seeds. I went to a store I don't normally shop at, stopped near two employees, and one of them said that he would show me where they were. When we got there the only flaxseeds they had were the ground meal, and I needed the whole seeds for the granola recipe.
I followed this gentleman around the store, and I felt like he was taking more than just a casual interest in the conversation. He had to leave to help someone get something off the top shelf. A wave of nostalgia went through me, immediately I was transported to the time when I worked at a grocery store, and I even asked him if they were hiring, but I made the inquiry for my children rather than myself. I did think about trying to get a job there, a part of me is very tempted, but at least for now the job I have is giving me enough of the things that I need that I feel I need to stick with it for a while. I would love to pick up a second job if it meant I could go back to grocery, but given the number of hours I work currently, I do not feel as if this is wise.
The next time I start a major undertaking like this, I am going to make sure that I take a break somewhere in the action. I finished the soups, thought I was being clever by freezing some in plastic bags I had stored inside of glass jars, and now can't get the bags out of the jars rendering my brilliant space saving plan much less effective than I thought it might be; however, I know now that I can use this plan going forward, and will wait until the soups cool more to freeze them. I'm not in love with the idea of that many plastic bags being used, one alternative would be to purchase more glass jars, and that might be the answer even though it means spending more money.
While I am on the subject, I proactively shelved my credit cards. Now if I want something, I have to have the money right then and there. This might be a tough exercise, but it might be a lot easier than I think. A woman I used to work with had a theory that we needed some degree of chaos in our lives. She was organized at work and not as particular at home. Since she worked so many hours she would come home, throw her things down, and crash. I can really relate to that as I look around my place. Clothes on the backs of chairs in my dining area, dishes in the sink, on the counters, bags strewn about, but then I think about the soups and the salmon, and how hard I worked yesterday, and I'm proud of myself.
Despite the long hours and low pay, this job has a lot going for it. I'm able to walk around, be outside, I have a lot of freedom and flexibility, and it's a really neat building. I fell off of the Pilates wagon for a while, but like most, it's easier to climb back on than it is to board it in the first place. It was so nice to be able to see my children yesterday. So far I have sold three vehicles in July, and that feels really good too. As if this is a job I can do, and not some sort of a fluke. My last client told me that he was impressed with how I handled the infotainment system, so even though the couple I had later on in the day knew more than I did, I'll take the praise to heart.
A part of me is still scared, lonely, fearful, and anxious; however I also feel braver, kinder, more optimistic, and as if things are not only going to be okay, they will be great, grand, far beyond what I had imagined possible. There will always be tests of faith, I've been going to church more routinely and that has really helped too. I am a habit and routines person. It would be fabulous if I could find a menu and game plan that really worked for me to the extent that I could automate some portion of it and not have to think about things as much. This is what I eat, this is how I move, variety is important, but it would be lovely to have that safety net to fall back upon.
Today is a new day, and I for one am thrilled.
P.S. This is day three without chocolate, and I can't believe how much better I feel despite the noticable lack of energy at certain times during the day. I stopped taking the vitamins with the green tea extract, it makes me mad that they put caffeine in them in the first place, I spent a lot of money on those crazy things, but I'm going to let it go and really stop to appreciate how far I have come since I quit my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad job back in May.