At 5:36 AM 21 years ago today, I began my long and unending quest of making other peoples' lives hell.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KYLE

Why, thank you!

So, what do you plan to do for the big two-one?

Well, it is Labor Day, after all ...

Oh, right! So I bet you're taking a fun day trip somewhere to get wasted?

Not exactly ...

Staying in a town for a night with the boys?

Umm ... no.

Going to school and working a night shift at the radio station?

Bingo.

Congratulations! You may already be this uncool!

Tell me about it. Well, in the long run, we're all dead, so I'm not sweating it. Courtney is in New York City at her internship, but she still got me stuff before she left - some bubble gum, some playing cards, a DVD, some postcards (to write her), a sketch book, and an awesome wall clock. Saw the fam yesterday, they had cake and ice cream and the new Lord of the Rings DVD waiting for me (always a pleasure doing business with you.) And today will be just another day, although I'm planning a Brown-nosed Spectacular for the first day of classes today by bringing chocolates to all my classmates.

It is good to be the king. Let me know if you find him so I can kick him in the nuts.