A Response to "Inheritance in Relational Databases" from a
Computer-Challenged Person:
This writeup is intended to
clarify the complex technical paper contained hereinabove for those
individuals who may not be well-versed in computer terminology.
Before We Proceed:
A refreshed computer user is a happy computer user. If you're in an office,
go to the break room, else, go to your kitchen, and get a cup of coffee.
Return to your computer. Sit with back straight and feet planted on
the ground. Push the small, square button on the front of your computer.
Voila, like magic, out slides a cup holder for your coffee. Sure, we all
have cup holders in our cars, but I bet you didn't know that nearly all computers
these days come with power retractable cup holders. Pretty nifty, huh?
Now, down to this Inheritance business. No need to get all worked up about
it. It's quite simple, in fact.
GLOSSARY
Object Oriented Programming
Code created by a computer programmer who is intensely materialistic.
(Opposite is "Zen Oriented Programming," a minimalist approach.)
Individual Table Inheritance
This is when a relative passes away and leaves the bulk of their estate to
their alma mater. All you inherit is a single table (from the rumpus room, no
less; not that cheeky glass-and-chrome coffee table from the parlor).
Class Table Inheritance
This is when a distant relative remembers your admiration for their
Chippendale dining table with the eight matching side chairs (two with
armrests). They die; you inherit a priceless heirloom. Class. Lotsa class.
Relational Database
For some people, this is a Rolodex card file with the names
of one's relatives, friends, etc. typed on cards and sorted with alphabetical
tabs. Each Christmas/Chanuka, etc. you send holiday cards to everyone in this
file. Those who are really scrupulous about their record-keeping have
created a duplicate file, sorted by date, for the convenience of sending
Birthday cards, as well.
Less organized record keepers are known to resort to garnering their holiday
card information from a shoebox full of old holiday cards they've received.
Economical holiday card senders only send cards out to those who sent to them
the year before.
SQL
The little knob on the Citizen's Band Radio Receiver that makes the
hissing noise go away.
Superclass
What they have lots of at pretentious Ivy-League schools like Harvard, Brown
and Yale.
Subclass
A class of instruction in the preparation and assembly of large, elongated
sandwiches made from a variety of meats, cheese, lettuce and tomato.
Concrete (or Leaf) Table Inheritance
When you inherit outdoor (or, "Patio") furniture. Not good if one lives in an
apartment.
Ruby on Rails
An alcohol beverage ("shot") involving grenadine and Bacardi 151. Not for the faint of heart.
Polymorphism
A parrot or budgie in drag.
SUMMATION:
See, wasn't that easy, now. If even a techno-dolt like the writer of this
article can do it, SO CAN YOU!