Why Donald J. Trump should NOT be sent to prison. (and what to do instead.)

 This is exactly what I’d like to have happen to Donald Trump. Jailing him would be a security nightmare. House arrest isn’t all that bad if it’s Mar-a-Lago (Ghod, I hate those hyphens). It would cause public outcry if he were executed — so that’s definitely out.

So, that’s what I propose: we treat him like Ezra Pound. Maybe not the Guantanamo Bay part, though certainly he should be interrogated on his activities with the Russians, or the house-in-Venice part, but the psycho ward part. A perfect place would be McLean Hospital outside Boston, where it’s long been the custom to have their patients live in cottages, not wards. Perhaps a spare cottage might be found or constructed for him, and decorated in a suitable style, with gold and a chandelier — perhaps he could bring his Virtual Golf machine.

This has several advantages.

First, it’s easy to arrange security for a small cottage in an already semi-secure area: a mental hospital. The cottage would be in a wooded area outside of Boston. A semi-Camp David, if you please. He couldn’t just wander off..they’re used to dealing with people who might want to do that. They’re also used to stopping people who might want to fight. With a few tranqs in him, he might actually be biddable.

Second, it’s a hospital. No one looks to spring someone from a hospital. All a nurse has to say, “He’s not well….” and thoughts of how to smuggle him into the Rockies turn to the probability of him having aortic stenosis. He’s probably got a half-a-dozen medical problems he’s not talking about, that will probably be at least semi-fatal outside of a nice cozy nursing home. He is, unlike Pound, showing signs of true mental illness, and no stretching of “not being able to stand trial…” is needed. The guy is sick, and obviously needs help.

Third, no one listens to someone in a psycho ward. Think about it: if he were in prison, anything he’d do would sound like the last-ditch act of a Noble Lost Causer, something that a certain part of his base (the South) knows a lot about. If he’s in the Cookie Factory, we-lll, ya’know…have you seen how he’s been looking lately? He said he'd mobilize the military to rout out his enemies? And, he said he was still President? What’s up with that?

And afterwards, you can always Spandau it, and tear the whole thing down.