Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Everything
2
12 ways to ruin a Club
(
idea
)
by
wavin
Mon Jul 17 2000 at 18:27:25
12 Good Ways To Ruin A
Club
.
Don't go to
meetings
.
But if you do go - Go late.
Never accept an
office
, it is easier to
criticise
than to actually do anything.
If asked by the
chairman
to give your opinion about something important say you have no comment.
After the meeting however, buy a
beer
and tell everyone how things should be done.
Hold back your
membership
money as long as possible or better still don't
pay
at all.
If you agree with everything at the meeting, make sure you disagree with it afterwards in the pub.
When everything else fails abuse the office holders, especially any female on the
committee
.
Don't bother getting new
members
let the
secretary
do it.
Talk co-operation for the fellow with you but never co-operate with him.
Don't tell the club how it can help you but if it doesn’t help you tell everyone its
useless
.
Do Nothing more than necessary but when other members roll up their sleeves and
willingly
and
selflessly
give of their time to keep the club going, complain that the club is being run by a
clique
.
(
idea
)
by
bob the cow
Mon Jul 17 2000 at 18:43:44
Put
mayonnaise
on it. Eww.
Drop it on the
floor
.
Pick it up
from the floor.
Put nothing in it.
Put nothing but mayonnaise in it.
Use too much
salami
.
Especially very
flavorful
salami.
Or
bologna
. Too much of that is bad, as well.
Forget to put
toothpick
s through it so that it falls apart when picked up.
Hit it with some sort of
hard, blunt object
.
Vinegar
Twirl it around above your head on a string, then throw it 15 feet in the air
.
(
idea
)
by
RevJim23
Sun Jan 14 2001 at 20:26:36
Cut through the steering wheel. Remove
The Club
and throw it in a river.
When being attacked by a
dinosaur
, wait until it is about to bite you and shove The Club into its mouth vertically, to keep the jaw open. Wait until the dinasaur bites down hard, which will snap the club in two.
Give The Club to an LA or NYC
policeman
, who will return it covered with blood.
Give The Club to
Superman
, who is always showing off his strength and will immediately bend it in half.
Pretend you are one of the
Three Musketeers
and use The Club as a
fencing
foil. Run about the house all
willy-nilly
breaking things. Keep this up until your mother takes it away from you and throws it out.
Lend it to a
Denmark
sex show. When it comes back, you won't want it anymore.
Install The Club as a lightning rod and wait for a storm.
Let a
sumo wrestler
borrow The Club for pole vaulting.
Use The Club for a walking stick. Walk next to the
Grand Canyon
.
Have
George W. Bush
nominate The Club for a cabinet position and let the Senate ruin it.
Take copious amounts of
drugs
. The Club won't be ruined, but you won't really care.
And finally...
Install The Club in your vehicle and park it somewhere safe. When you return, The Club (and your vehicle) will most likely be gone.
The Club
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